Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Random Ramblings 0: Better Start Somewhere

Well, we've discussed the blog, and posting in it for a few weeks now.  It's practically a recurring joke on the podcast that eventually we'll start writing things.  I'm not really sure why we think we can or should though.  We're both engineers, which is Latin for illiterate or some other word I can't think of; and as always, fuck research.  The point of it is we don't really do much creative writing anymore, that shit stopped back in high school and the well has, at least for me, dried up.  We started this podcast thanks to my beautiful explanation (rant) on why Jurassic World was a steaming shitpile of a movie though, so I argue that there's got to be at least something going on up there.  So in my ever continuing effort to avoid real work and feel like I'm doing something I at least claim to enjoy I decided to make good on our promise to blag.  If only I could settle on a topic.  Luckily our podcast has a theme, randomness.  We don't pick what we watch, we let God or a random number generator decide, and it's been going surprisingly well.  We manage to talk for around 40 minutes about movies we had no urge to see and about topics we probably never would have thought relevant or important.  So I'm carrying that over to this.  I googled random subject letting them know that I was in fact feeling lucky and came up with this.  It's a nifty little site for writers that has a bunch of different "random things" buttons each with their own purpose.  I'm not going to bother explaining it you can click on a link if you care so damn much.  The point is, I decided to use it to dictate what I write about.  Before doing that I will admit I cheated.  I clicked through a bunch of the possible options just to see what I might be getting myself into and sadly the outlook isn't that optimistic.  There is at most 15 different topics that can come up, and they aren't really the type of things I'd want to talk about on a blog for a podcast starring two idiots who watch shitty movies.  But, you've got to start somewhere, and I've already done enough research for one blog post so fuck it and fuck you.  In fairness to the process, I did reload the page from scratch, and committed to using whatever prompt showed up after a single click of the button, assuming I liked it of course.  And I did!  What are the odds?  Slim given all the other possible options I had already clicked through.  More surprisingly it was one I hadn't yet seen, which is odd considering most had cycled through at least four times. Now that I've sufficiently built it up here it is, "Write about someone who irritates you."

Everyone.  Shit that was easy.  And short.  Talk about anti-climatic.  I guess I'll get more specific then.  If I really had to pick a single person out of all of you pieces of shit that irritated me the most, I would actually have to pick myself.  And honestly, if any of you would answer otherwise, you're fucking wrong and stupid as shit.  We are our own worst enemies at all times.  Every day you do shit and then wonder "why the fuck did I just do that shit?"  See what I mean?  You're irritating as fuck.  I'm irritated at myself right this second, writing a fucking blog post that two people might read rather than doing my work that I know for a fact would by seen by at least like, three people.  We're always getting in our own way, holding ourselves back, and putting ourselves down in some form or another.  It's that constant strive for perfection that allows us to really really hate ourselves when we "fail."  I put that in quotes because obviously we don't.  I will still finish my work and do other things, but I won't do them as well as I know I could, even if I do them really fucking well.  I've gotten A's on assignments, been praised by managers for what I deliver all for work that I thought was pretty shitty.  And I don't say that to ramble about how amazing I am, I'm saving that for its own post, but more to drive home that idea that we always irritate ourselves.  I think this is a good thing though, I genuinely think it's the best answer to this question because we need to irritate ourselves.  If we don't then we'd all be lazy blobs of shit who wouldn't do anything to better ourselves be that physically mentally or emotionally.  Without it we'd all be fat, immature and legally retarded but think that everything was great with our lives and ourselves.  We would be like the people in Wall-e or some shit.  How's that for some forced movie references?  Gotta stick to the real meat of this project right?  It's this irritation that pushes us to better ourselves, to expect what we know we are capable of from ourselves, hell it even makes us write shitty blog posts on a website noone visits.  Irritation is a powerful tool to initiate action.  Just look at kids.  Those things are annoying as fuck, and I'm pretty sure they fucking know it.  But they get whatever they fucking want just so they'll shut the fuck up and give you some goddamned peace and quiet.

I swear this wasn't planned, but honestly what a perfect topic for a first post.  It was irritation with my inactivity that drove me to start typing in the first place.  It's the same irritation that makes me edit the podcast that all what?  36?  of you listen to, and it's the same irritation that makes me do my work, or go to the gym, or not eat that seventh slice of pizza or whatever the fuck else.  So I say stay irritated, and honestly you should be concerned as fuck if your answer to the question who irritates you the most isn't yourself.

I'm going to label this post number 0, since we love doing stupid shit like that here at Random Reviews and Other Ramblings.  I've already found a way better site for prompts.  If I had found that first, this whole post would've been about rodents instead.  Goddamn that would have been amazing.  So don't expect this weird existential shit, it's not normal and really has no place here, but this is practice post #0, so go fuck yourself.   

Friday, September 25, 2015

Episode 4: Toad Road

IMDb

Gordon and Geoff watch a weird genre blend of a film. This movie uses documentary footage of heavy drug use and then blends in a horror/thriller story in to it. It's probably not worth your time watching this one but maybe give it a go if you're really super mega bored. Also, we talk about the new Destiny DLC and Edge-Fest 2015. Next week, we'll be watching The General. It's a silent film so we get a unique opportunity to record while watching! A commentary if you will!

Gordon: ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Geoff: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following:

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Episode 3: A Killer Among Us

After her mother's murder, a determined teenager agrees to help the detective in charge of the case, and eventually uncovers shocking family secrets.

IMDb

Gordon and Geoff watch a Lifetime thriller! This movie is a pretty straightforward mystery about a murderer. Except you know who the murderer was before you even start the flick. If you want to avoid spoilers, don't look at the thumbnail on Netflix. Also we talk about Dope, Hot Pursuit, and Iron Maiden. Next week, we'll be watching Toad Road.

Gordon: ★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆
Geoff: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following:

Saturday, September 5, 2015

Episode 2: Splinters

The villagers of Papua New Guinea hope to make a better life by becoming professional surfers, a competitive endeavor that tests their courage.

IMDb

Gordon and Geoff watch a documentary about the clash of Eastern and Western culture in Papua New Guinea. The doc is barely about surfing at all! This is the Vaughnest movie ever! Gordon also tells us about American Ultra and Geoff plays the new Magic Origins video game. Next week, we'll be watching A Killer Among Us.

Gordon: ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
Geoff: ★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following: