Episode 51: The Mend

Returning from a vacation, a depressed New Yorker finds his brother living in his apartment uninvited, leading to some strange entanglements.

IMDb

Last week, we didn't think the movies could get any worse than the two we had to watch in our 50th episode celebration. This week, it's my displeasure to bring you our second double-zero rated movie. The Mend is about a guy living in a shitty NYC apartment with his leech of a girlfriend. Maybe vampires and other things that suck blood are his fetish or something because he decides to slide a ring onto one of her tentacles while on a vacation to Quebec. Not wanting to let a vacant apartment go to waste, his homeless brother seizes the opportunity to move in with his homeless fuck-buddy and her kid. Leech boy ends up returning home leech-less and they decide to do drugs for a week. The leech comes home, the homeless people are still homeless and everything is still shitty when the credits roll. What in fuck? Next week, we are watching Counter Investigation.

Gordon:	☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Geoff:	☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following:

• The Mend
• Sisters

Episode 50: Double Feature: Where Children Play and If You Don't, I Will

Called home to Los Angeles by her mother's death, a woman faces the pain of her dysfunctional childhood and an abusive father now in need of her care.

IMDb

Facing a marriage that has become stale, a woman leaves her husband during a hike and chooses to make a new life in the woods while he returns home.

IMDb

Happy 50th episode! For the past year, Gordon and Geoff have been trudging through the bowels of Netflix searching for movies you can enjoy with your subscription that you may have missed by using one of the most inefficient search mechanisms available to us: Random. In this special episode, we change up the order of the show my rambling first and then selecting two movies to review with a twist on the rules. We each chose our least favorite movies to watch from the past 49 episodes and then randomly chose a movie that was suggested as a similar title to our selctions. Gordon's most hated movie was Four of Hearts which led us to a review of Where Children Play; The story of a gold digger. My most hated was Life of Riley, and that awful movie led us to If You Don't, I will - A movie illustrating how sometimes divorce is a pretty good option. Next week, we will return to the usual format with The Mend.

Where Children Play
Gordon:	★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Geoff:	☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

If You Don't, I Will
Gordon:	★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Geoff:	★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following:

• Where Children Play
• If You Don't, I Will

Episode 49: Uncle John

When a rough customer in a small Wisconsin town disappears, some begin to suspect an unfailingly friendly local farmer.

IMDb

Uncle John is your typical retired blue collar guy. He gets coffees with his buddies every morning at the diner. He has a small carpentry business he keeps up with for fun and a little money on the side. And he murders people. Uncle John is an uncle in this movie because this is also a story about his nephew Virgin. Kissless Virgin. Kissless likes his new boss, Ms. Hot Stuff, and he throws as much spaghetti at her as possible until she falls for him. You probably want to know more about his murdering uncle though, don't you? Yeah, me too. Also we talk about Max Payne, and Hell or High Water. Next week, we're not revealing what we are watching until the episode is released because it's our 50th episode and we're doing something special.

Gordon:	★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Geoff:	★ ★ ☆ ☆ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following:

• Uncle John
• Max Payne
• Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne
• Max Payne 3
• Hell or High Water

Episode 48: An Affair to Remember

Although each is already engaged to another, Nickie Ferrante (Cary Grant) and Terry McKay (Deborah Kerr) meet on an ocean liner and fall in love.

IMDb

This classic movie from 1957 still holds up. Almost. The love story moves along at a slow-but-tolerable pace right up until what you think is the climax of the plot and then turns into a bizarre story about teaching special children how to sing. I bet you would like this movie so go give it a good streaming until everything is about to end well and then turn it off. Tell yourself in your head "And they lived happily ever after." There; we just saved you forty minutes and found you something good to watch. Last week, Geoff was on vacation in Texas so he brings in two Texan movies - No Country for Old Men, and Miracles from Heaven. Gordon talks about some of the Steam Sale games he bought but never played until now and reviews War Dogs. Next week, we're watching Uncle John.

Gordon:	★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
Geoff:	★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following:

• An Affair to Remember
• Sleeping Dogs
• Driver: San Francisco
• No Country for Old Men
• War Dogs
• Miracles from Heaven

Deleted Scenes: Episode -2: How to Die in Oregon

This award winning documentary takes you into the lives of terminally ill people as they consider availing themselves of physician-assisted suicide.

IMDb

Geoff is on vacation this week so we're once again revisiting the past and listening to another practice episode from August 1^st, 2015. Gordon and Geoff watch an extremely depressing documentary on physician-assisted suicide. We watched people die. Welcome to SadCast. Also, we talk about the Berenst#in Bears Problem.

Gordon:	★ ★ ★ ☆ ☆
Geoff:	★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

Random Requests 2: Singham with Paul

A police inspector kills himself after a powerful gangster frames him for corruption - but soon the thug faces the full force of cop Bajirao Singham.

Singham

Our second guest, Paul, brings in an awesome Bollywood movie. Everything in this film is over the top. Singham is a god among men who fights corruption by being the most corrupt police officer in India. Smart. I'm not going to write anything else. Go watch this movie.

Gordon:	★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
Geoff:	★ ★ ★ ★ ☆
Paul:	★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following:

• Singham
• Kubo and the Two Strings

Episode 47: The Awakening

Twists abound in this dark thriller as a young man consults an ambitious journalist in his quest to learn the truth behind his prophetic dreams.

Wikipedia

The Awakening is a Nigerian movie that is arguably worse than my ninth grade video project for science class. Apparently Nigerian movies are classified as Nollywood productions like how Indian movies are called Bollywood. This would suggest that some inspiration was taken from the movies of Hollywood but I don't think anyone involved with this movie has ever watched American cinema. Everything was bad. Acting, sound, editing, scenery, costumes, and story were managed by the same children who make Nike shoes at the factory every morning. We could almost chalk this one up as one of those so-bad-its-good movies but the entire 2 hours of dialogue is drowned out by a pesky farmer driving his tractor around in the background of every scene. After the news, Gordon brings in his review of Sausage Party and I continue my streak of watching last year's movies with Straight Outta Compton. Next week, we're watching An Affair to Remember.

Gordon:	☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
Geoff:	★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

This episode may contain spoilers for the following:

• The Awakening
• Sausage Party
• Straight Outta Compton